The Truth Behind True Love
by Phanstarlight
Summary: King Arthur loved his wife more than anything. But she could never give him an heir. So when Court Sorcerer Merlin finds a spell that can fix this the royal couple agree instantly. However the one thing the spell requires is true love, which is what Gwen and Arthur thought they had... Apparently destiny has different ideas.
1. Prologue

**I don't own Merlin and at no point in this story will I be making any profit from writing this.**

King Arthur of Camelot loved his wife Guinevere more than anything in the world. Her long wavy soft hair, her beautiful loving eyes, her intelligence and her perfect caring nature. She was a wonderful wife, a talented Queen and had the makings of an amazing mother. But that was when Gwen's fatal flaw came in, she was a barren woman. No matter how much apparent love was shared between herself and Arthur, she could never give him a child. She begged Arthur to find another woman, marry her and get the heirs he needed as King. But he refused, how could he just leave her after everything they had been though? The wars, the loses, the betrayals... they had both suffered through and come out the other side together. There wouldn't be another like her and he was willing to allow Camelot to be left without a Pendragon heir if it meant staying with her. He refused to fall the way his father fell. But Gwen would still cry silently at night to herself. She was a burden to her husband, herself and the entire kingdom... she could conceive no child.

However, little did she know there was one thing that could change all that... but the price she would pay would be greater than she could ever imagine.


	2. Chapter 1

Arthur and Gwen were sitting in their chambers on a seemingly normal, bright March morning admiring the early morning spring sunlight. The quiet sounds of nature drifted in and out of the open windows. But that peace was soon shattered as suddenly the doors burst open, causing both King and Queen to jump in shock.

"_Mer_lin! What have I told you about knocking _before _you burst into someone's chambers"

"I'm sorry sire, your highness" Merlin added turning to Gwen then back to the King "But I have important news you will want to hear"

"Oh really? What could be so amazing that means you can march into the royal chambers unannounced?"

"Oh hush, Arthur!" Gwen butted in gently "Give Merlin a chance to actually speak" she smiled fondly at the Sorcerer and friend and nodded for him to continue.

"Thank you my lady" Merlin bowed, if slightly mockingly, to Gwen "As I was saying I have some bad news for you both followed by some very good news. Firstly, I'm sorry to speak of such a difficult topic openly to you but news of Gwen's infertility has spread fast across Camelot and as become nothing short of castle gossip"

Gwen instantly burst into tears and Arthur took her hand and kissed it gently before throwing the best death glare he could at Merlin. Merlin held his hands up in surrender.

"But there is good news to follow this-"

"W-What news could be g-good after the f-failure of my w-womanhood has become g-gossip to the kingdom?" Gwen stuttered out indignantly.

"Please, let me speak and I will tell you"

There was a long drawn-out pause as Gwen calmed herself down before the royals slowly nodded for Merlin to continue.

"I have found a cure!"

They stare at him in confusion and shock as Merlin's face split into an impossibly wide grin.

"A cure for what exactly?"

"A cure for your infertility, my Lady"

"W-What?"

"I have found a spell that will reverse the flow of a certain liquid in your body, allowing you to conceive a child"

Both Arthur and Gwen beam widely at Merlin, their eyes twinkling with excitement and relief.

"When can we do this spell of yours?"

"Right now if you would care to follow me to my chambers"

Merlin swiveled on his heels and began to make his way to his chambers with the King and Queen almost skipping (very regally, of course) along behind him. They reached his chambers, Merlin pushed open the door and the royals stepped into the plainly designed and surprisingly simple main room. Merlin picked up the book of magic, opened it at the marked page and motioned for the couple to come further in. They did so as Merlin walked back over to them and met them in the middle of the room.

"Now before I start this I must make sure of a few things, please don't be offended by them. Firstly, the spell must be performed on both participants, are you okay with this?"

They both nodded instantly.

"Secondly, the spell will only work if the woman only tries to have children with the man involved... no one else"

Arthur placed his hands firmly on Gwen's shoulders; that was answer enough.

"Thirdly, the spell will allow you to have one child and one child alone"

There was a small pause before Merlin continued.

"Next, the pair involved MUST share unstained, pure true love"

Gwen smiled "That's the one thing we _have_ got" she said surely.

"And finally, as before mentioned the couple must be bound together with true love. If this is not so then the spell will turn; the woman will not fall pregnant and the two involved _will _betray each other for the one they are destined to be with. Their friends will be the first to see it, then their soul mate, next will be themselves and then finally the other member of the couple involved in this spell. Are you two truly willing to risk this?"

Arthur and Gwen smiled at each other, seemingly positive of their love for each other. Taking that as an answer, Merlin continued.

"Well then, if you would both care to stand and face each other"

The couple turned to face each other.

"Arthur, take Gwen's hands in yours"

Arthur, for once, did as he was told.

"Now, both close your eyes"

The royal's eyes fluttered shut and Merlin repeated the verse he had rehearsed from the book with his hand out stretched towards the couple. His eyes shone brilliant golden before he lowered his hand and the couple opened their eyes.

"Well my Lady, thought of any names?" Merlin joked in his usual playful way.

Gwen and Arthur laughed before thanking the wondrous Sorcerer and taking their leave. In 9 months time a pair of small feet would be running across the stone floors and silk rugs.

That was what they thought...


	3. Chapter 2

"Is everyone ready?... Where's Merlin?"

Arthur called out over the small group of knights and horses surrounding him in the courtyard. It had been a couple of weeks since Merlin's spell. It was strange though... Arthur had expected himself to be monitoring Gwen's every move but for some reason he wasn't. He didn't particularly know why but he seemed to be spending more and more time with his Court Sorcerer. He didn't really think much of it but what bothered him truly was his knights. As loyal, trust worthy and great friends as they were... Arthur couldn't help feeling they were hiding something from him. When he would see them huddled together in deep conversation he would walk over and as soon as they spotted him they would fall silent instantly. Or when he walked into a room to find two or three of them talking together they would turn and look at him with half guilty, half analysing expressions on their faces. Arthur tried to dismiss their behavior and had decided to take himself, a few of the knights and Merlin out on a hunting trip this afternoon. He didn't have much reason to drag Merlin along but since they had spent so much time together recently he found it appropriate.

"Here!" Merlin came stumbling over to the gathering of knights and horses in a display of his usual clumsiness.

"Hurry up!"

"Yes M'lord" Merlin stretched out the 'lord' and bowed mockingly.

"Oh just get on with it" Arthur laughed.

With Merlin finally on his horse, the group of four knights (Gwaine, Leon, Percival and Lancelot) the King and the Sorcerer trotted out of Camelot. Within minutes Merlin was already complaining.

"Why am I even here? I don't enjoy this, neither am I any good at it!"

Arthur sighed but the knights were quick to take the opportunity to mock their friend a little.

"Yes Arthur" Gwaine was the first to get in (of course) "Why do you _always_ take Merlin on these trips?"

Both Arthur and Merlin were confused but the other knights soon joined in to the entertaining scheme.

"It's not like he wants to be here" Lancelot noted.

"Then again, where ever Arthur is Merlin will be there" Percival added in.

"Yeah... why do you _always_ take Merlin _everywhere_ you go Arthur?" Leon caught on smugly.

Arthur suddenly halted his horse and threw his hand up to signify silence.

"Oh come Arthur, we were only-" Gwaine started but was once again silenced by Arthur's hushing. After a few moments of deafening silence...

"Bandits" Arthur whispered. Only a second later, too many men to count came crashing out of the trees.

"Run!"

The knights knew they were out numbered (even with magic on their side) and instantly spurred their horses into sprints. They shot out in all directions in an attempt to at least slow down their attackers. However, the thugs were in a state of confusion for only a few moments before splitting off and chasing after the group. The place was a chaos of men, horses, red capes, swords and the occasional flying bandit (thanks to Merlin's magic). But soon enough the group had been separated and were fleeing for their lives. Somewhere in among the chaos Merlin and Arthur had ended up running away from the bandits together. Their horses had been lost somewhere along the way so they were now fleeing together on foot. Merlin spotted a small cave like structure ahead of them and pulled the King by the wrist towards it. Without a word the two hurriedly squashed themselves into the hole. The desperation had been so great that it took a while for either of them to notice that the position they were in was quite interesting. Arthur was laying with his back flat to the ground and Merlin was above him with his own back flush against the roof of the cave and his hands either side of Arthur's torso pushing himself up so he didn't fall right on top of the other. However, despite this their faces were only inches apart. Arthur's heavy breath brushed itself against Merlin's cheeks and Merlin suddenly became very aware of his closeness to Arthur. He tried to push himself up and away from the other but Arthur swiftly caught his wrist as a sign for him to stay still; he could hear some of the bandits approaching. The sound of heavy boots running along the woodland ground pounded closer towards them and for one brief moment both King and Sorcerer held their breath. But soon the noise began to fade into the distance and the silence of nature was restored. And yet the two men stay exactly where they were. Merlin's cheek began to grow warm as he felt Arthur's eyes lock with his in the darkness. Slowly he felt himself leaning in closer towards the King. Arthur was frozen to the spot and Merlin also froze when their lips became almost a breath's distance away. The Sorcerer's breath grew short and his eyes began to flutter closed...

"Arthur? Merlin?"

Merlin's eyes violently flew open at the sound of their names being called out by familiar voices. He opened his mouth to reply but found his throat was dry. Luckily Arthur had the same idea.

"Down here" The blond cried out. Merlin scrambled up and away from the other and, with the help of Lancelot and Gwaine, freed himself from the cave. Several minutes later and Arthur was also back out in the daylight.

Silence quickly filled the air as the knights glanced between the flushed looking Sorcerer and the rather spaced-out looking King. However, the silence was quickly broken by Lancelot.

"So... are we leaving or are we going to stand here staring at each other all night?"

This earned a small laugh from everyone before they all re-mounted their horses- Leon had previously found Arthur and Merlin's horses and returned them to their owners once they had been reunited. And then the small party nudged their horses into a trot home.

* * *

Gwen anxiously paced around her's and Arthur's chambers. She could no longer hide the fear that was steadily growing inside of her. The sky was now inky blue and stars were beginning to dot it like a canvas... and still the party had not returned. Arthur had promised her they would be back before nightfall. Yet nightfall was here and they were still to come home. What if something awful had happened? Bandits or wild animals? Gwen knew they had been trained in combat to the highest standard and they would even have magic on their side. But if they were greatly out numbered...

A rather loud knock on the door drew Gwen from her terrible thoughts.

"Enter" she announced dismissively, not moving her gaze from the window.

"My Lady, the King has returned. He is in the throne room waiting for you now"

"Thank you" Gwen replied with a smile before following the servant out of the room, down the halls and into the throne room. Gwen's lips smiled even wider when she caught sight of Arthur smiling back at her. She quickly, yet somehow elegantly, made her way over to his side. Arthur's hands instantly slid around her waist and hugged her tightly. Gwen's arms encircled Arthur's neck as she returned the embrace. They eventually pulled away from each other and Gwen turned and smiled at the rest of them party. However, when her eyes rested on Merlin he quickly looked away from her. This made the Queen worried... yet also curious. When Arthur dismissed the knights and the Sorcerer Gwen caught Merlin's eye again. And just as before, Merlin's eyes darted to the floor before he quickly left the room. This continued to confuse her as she and Arthur returned to their chambers and got ready for the night.

She had seen something in Merlin's eyes that troubled her greatly. It was something that seemed a kin to... shame.


	4. Chapter 3

Merlin was confused. There was no other way to put it. His emotions raged inside his heart and his thoughts swirled like a hurricane in his mind. But that wasn't the worst of it. It was the emotions and thoughts themselves that confused the Sorcerer the most. Emotions that shouldn't be natural; thoughts that one should be ashamed of. Yet they plagued his heart and mind constantly and he couldn't think of a way to stop them.

Arthur. That's as simple as the thoughts were. Just thoughts of Arthur and his sky blue eyes. His shiny blonde hair and his perfectly toned muscles. The thoughts had started as just that; only innocent notes on his bold features. But now they were turning into something else... something _much_ less innocent. And as much as Merlin hated himself for it he could do nothing to stop them. These dangerous thoughts only grew, along with the emotions they created inside him, until they were almost fully consuming him. The Sorcerer would spend minutes, _hours_, thinking about his King.

But the thoughts... they weren't of attraction or new-found obsession. The thoughts that so plagued his mind were ones of genuine... dare he even say it... _love_. It felt like he had felt this way for years; like those emotions had always been there.

But they couldn't have been... could they? Yet the more Merlin thought about it, the more he came to realize that maybe they had been there all this time. Simply buried under all the other feelings and memories he had collected during his life.

Maybe they really had been there all this time...

* * *

Arthur was troubled; deeply troubled. Something had happened those few days ago when the bandits had attacked them. Arthur could even pinpoint the exact moment in which it happened. It was when himself and Merlin where hiding in the cave waiting for the bandits to pass. They had connected eyes, somehow, in the darkness and that was the moment it happened.

Arthur didn't know how or why it happened. He didn't even know what _it _really was. But what he did know was that his hand still burned from where it had clutched Merlin's wrist, his cheeks grew unnaturally warm and his breath became short whenever Merlin caught his eye and that this thing, this _feeling_ seemed to be anything but new. Arthur was sure he hadn't experienced anything like this before and yet it seemed as though it had always been this way; as though this emotion had always been present.

But it couldn't have been... could it?


	5. Chapter 4

The woodland surrounding Camelot was perfect for many things; hunting, training, walking, playing... hiding a secret. Merlin was using it to take a walk and clear his head. The thoughts and emotions he had been experiencing still present in his mind; growing more as each day came. The dappled sunlight flowing through the gaps in the canopy of leaves above him calmed the Sorcerer somewhat. He had no idea how long he had been walking or how far into the trees he had come but, nevertheless, Merlin continued to stroll through the endlessly quiet area. Occasionally he would stop to cast a spell to create a flower or form a galloping horse in the air surrounding him. This time he stopped he used his powers to show a dragon soaring through the air out of the rays of sunlight beaming down on the ground.

"Wow"

Merlin's head whipped around to see Arthur gazing at the sunlight dragon. The King's expression was a mix of wonder, confusion and eventually when he noticed Merlin looking back at him, slight embarrassment.

"Sorry, I wasn't following you. Well, sort of. But I wasn't... um-"

Merlin's mouth turned up into a smile at the sight of an unusually flustered King. Arthur noticed Merlin's smug smile and instantly shut himself up. Merlin's smirk only grew but Arthur could only roll his eyes.

"Shut up, Merlin" Both men knew there was no harshness in the King's words, only playful teasing. Silence rolled over them when their laughter subsided. Arthur looked up at Merlin and Merlin looked back. Their eyes locked and both subconsciously took a few steps towards each other until their bodies almost touched. Stormy skies mixed with shining oceans as the two of them continued looking at each other; neither daring, or wanting, to look away for even a second. The sun and trees combined had created a halo of light around the two men. Silence had suddenly fallen upon the world. But it wasn't a harsh silence; it was like it was waiting. The sun, the trees, the birds all simultaneously holding their breath.

Merlin felt his body leaning towards Arthur. He was about to pull away; to break the silence that had washed over them. But then he saw something in the ocean depths of the King's eyes and he knew, he just _knew_, there was no pulling away now. No backing down. Merlin froze when he felt Arthur's arm on his. Still their eyes remained glued together. Arthur's breath brushed against the other's cheek. Slowly Merlin felt Arthur leaning in closer towards him. He was frozen to the spot when their lips became a breath's distance away. The Sorcerer's breath grew short and his eyes began to flutter closed. Arthur's eyes copied this motion. And after what seemed like a forever of waiting... the distance between their lips was closed. The world sang a silent song as the two pairs of lips moved in perfect sync. The sun glowed brighter, the leaves became greener, the birds flew in a parade of beauty and colour. When the Sorcerer and King finally parted, the world returned to its usual self. But it still seemed just that little bit brighter; as though it was smiling. Because it knew nothing would be the same again. The future was beginning.


	6. Chapter 5

Gwen felt it. That sudden change in the world's very being. She brushed it of as something she didn't understand but somehow she knew something had changed.

"Did you feel that?" The Queen asked one of the maids who was in her chambers giving it a quick dust over.

"Feel what, My Lady?"

Gwen shook her head and said it was nothing. That feeling of change settled on her shoulders and there was nothing she could do to shake it off. But soon enough she would find out for herself what that slight twinge in her heart really meant.

* * *

Over the next week not a lot happened... to the untrained eye. But the knights of Camelot were trained to the highest of standards, and not just with their swords. The small smiles, the fleeting touches, the slight glances; the knights picked up on every single one Merlin and Arthur subtlety threw at each other. They were different. Something had happened to both King and Sorcerer that had caused something within them to change. Not majorly so but enough for the knights to notice. They thought that maybe they should ask Arthur or Merlin (Gwaine was adamant on asking Merlin) but they soon all realised it would look rather suspicious if they all suddenly started asking such odd questions. So they kept quiet and continued to watch the subtle displays of affection that passed between the two men.

But then things started becoming much less subtle. Arthur would miss council meetings and, whenever he did turn up, he seemed out of breath like he had been running and Merlin would always arrive with him... also out of breath. At first the knights had found it rather entertaining but soon other members of the council began to talk. Nothing solid, nothing even close to what was happening but they were definitely suspicious. But there was nothing anyone could do about it. So the council continued their whispers, the knights continued their watching, Arthur and Merlin continued their not-quite-so-subtleness and Gwen's suspicions grew more and more each coming day.

* * *

One night Gwen was laying in bed, the sound of Arthur sleeping soundly beside her echoed around the dark room. However, she could not seem to do the same. The Queen constantly twisted and turned and rolled back and forth. She eventually settled to lay on her side, facing away from Arthur, and stared out across the dark lifeless room. But then she tensed as she felt the bed lift behind her... Arthur was getting out of the bed. At first she thought she might have woken him but she soon realized he seemed to think she was asleep. So Gwen played along and remained perfectly still and watched her husband silently with curious eyes as he slipped on his cloak and boots and made his way to the door. The King opened it soundlessly and slid out, glancing back once at his wife as though to make sure she were asleep. Gwen waited a few moments before leaving the bed herself, putting on her own cloak and shoes and following him out the door.

What was he doing going out at that time of night?

The Queen had to run to catch up with Arthur's long, fast strides. Wherever he was going, he was in a hurry to get there. Gwen stopped and hid herself behind a stone pillar as Arthur crossed the courtyard.

Where on earth was he going?

Once he had crossed the open space Gwen waited a further few moments then ran silently across the courtyard after Arthur. She flicked her head left and right when she had made it to the other side. She managed to catch a glimpse of the end of Arthur's cloak swishing around the corner to her right. She turned and quickly ran in that direction. But then she stop suddenly... she realized where he was going. To Merlin's chambers.

Why was he going there?

Did he leave something there?

Was there something he had to deliver to him?

But why was he up in the dead of night to do so?

So may questions, so little time...

Gwen shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts and continued running. Just as she reached the end of the corridor Gwen spotted Arthur taking down the hood of his cloak and stepping inside Merlin's chambers, gently closing the door behind him. The Queen slowly and curiously tiptoed towards the door. She didn't walk in as to not show that she had been suspiciously following her own husband. Instead she crouched down and looked through the small gap in the door that Arthur had left ajar when closing it. Silently Gwen looked in. The room looked much the same as it had last time she had entered. Candles were lit around the room, casting a warm glow that spread across the floor and along the walls. Arthur was standing in the middle of the room with Merlin, their shadows moving with their bodies. His cloak had be thrown carelessly onto a near by work bench. The two of them appeared to be talking to one another. Gwen found herself slowly inching closer to the door. However, she still could not hear what the two friends were saying. At first she thought something possibly bad might have happened but then her gaze turned to look upon their faces. The two men were both relaxed and smiling... no, positively beaming at each other. The tension began to leave Gwen's body when she realized that nothing was wrong; there was no affliction to be found. It seemed all was well and Arthur was only talking to Merlin. For gods know what reason at the time of night that it was but it was only friendly conversation. Gwen was about to turn and leave until she noticed Merlin's hand in Arthur's. She saw it only in the flash of a moment but she was positive she had seen it. The Queen's brow furrowed curiously. But then she noticed the King and the Sorcerer leaning in towards each other. The fact that their hands were interlocked was clear as day to her now as they continued to lean closer and closer together. Both their eyes began to flutter gently closed as Gwen's grew wider. The two men leaned in closer and...


	7. Chapter 6

Shock. Shock was the first thing she felt.

Arthur King of Camelot and Merlin Camelot's Court Sorcerer and the King's closest adviser and friend... like this. Their arms wound around each other, eyes pushed gently shut and their lips fitting together like it was the perfect match; the other side that made them whole.

Then jealousy.

The warmth in their embrace, the love on their lips... it was too much to bare. Merlin fitted against Arthur the way Gwen found she never quite could. Even from the doorway she could almost feel the pure energy of love burning off of them. Arthur's arms wrapped themselves tighter around Merlin's waist and gave a light squeeze as a sign of affection... Gwen realized that Arthur had never done that to her.

Then anger.

How could Arthur do this? She remembered when he told her he loved her before they went to bed that very same night. Did he really mean it? Did his heart truly belong to two? Or was his love for her only a cover up? She felt as though she was just a mask to hide where his heart really lied. And Merlin! He knew how deeply her love for her husband ran in her blood, she re-called that he had even helped them find love in one another in the very beginning! Was that just a ploy to get closer to Arthur? He used her! How long had this been going on? But Arthur loved her! Did her love not satisfy that prat enough?! Must he seek the adoration from not only one but two? WHY WAS SHE NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM?

Then fear.

How long had this been going on? Had it always been like this? Did Arthur ever actually love his Queen?

Then finally, total heart-break.

He didn't love her. The passion and lust and adoration that bubbled wildly between the King and the Sorcerer made that more than crystal clear. Gwen tried to think that maybe Arthur was under a spell; some wicked curse Merlin had set upon him... but it all seemed so real, so true, so... perfect. Slowly, Gwen slumped back from the door and gently hit her back against the wall. She slid down it, her eyes wide with confusion, realization and... heart-break. She was surprised she couldn't actually hear her heart snapping into a million pieces and shattering like glass onto the unforgiving stone floor. She allowed her body to begin to follow its instincts and curl up into the tightest ball possible and never come out. But then she remembered she was still outside Merlin's door. Sooner or later Arthur would come out of that door and walk back to their chambers and expect her to be in bed sleeping soundly with her ignorant innocence veiling her from the truth. How long had he been doing this? How many times had she woken up in the morning with Arthur's arms around her when he probably only got back into bed a few hours before? How many times had she kissed his lips when traces of Merlin were still upon them? But Gwen tried her best to ignore these thoughts as she pulled herself up off the floor with surprising difficulty and dragged her body back to the royal chambers. She didn't exactly remember getting there or taking her cloak and shoes off or getting back into bed. However, the Queen found herself tangled in the sheets and feeling her body try to close into a ball again. This time she totally gave in to the want to curl as small as possible and pulled herself into an almost painfully tight self hug. Gwen squeezed her eyes shut and eventually fell asleep to the gentle sounds of her own sobbing, hoping to never see the light of day again.


	8. Chapter 7

"I don't want you to leave yet"

Arthur's eyes shined and danced in the moonlight. His blue cloak was already around him and he was standing in the doorway of the Sorcerer's chambers.

"I know but we can't risk getting caught"

He stepped over to Merlin and planted a firm yet delicate kiss on the other man's cheek before swiftly turning and making his way back to his own chambers. Merlin watched him fade into the night, his body still longing for his gentle, loving touch. He hated it. Merlin hated not having Arthur as truly his own, he hated having to hide and be cautious all the time, he hated that not only was he lying to the Queen but one of his closest and dearest friends, he hated betraying Gwen like this... but what Merlin hate most was that he didn't care. The Sorcerer didn't care that himself and Arthur were lying to Gwen, he didn't care that he was betraying his friend... Merlin just didn't care. He _wanted _to care, more than anything Merlin wanted to feel guilty and stop this madness before it got out of hand. But he just... _couldn't._

It was like destiny refused to let him free... and, truth be told, he was perfectly okay with that.

* * *

Gwen awoke to the sound of rain beating gently down on the windows outside. She rolled over, a smile ghosting her face before she remembered the happenings of the night before. Her body froze as she felt Arthur wake next to her. It was just like any other morning; no evidence about Arthur's little midnight party.

"Morning" he mumbled gently into her neck.

"Morning" Gwen whispered back. _Maybe it was a dream... maybe Arthur was hers after all._

But that hope was destroyed as soon as she entered the council room.

Arthur had left a few minutes earlier, leaving Gwen in their chambers alone. The Queen hummed quietly to herself as she brushed her hair. She was in a relatively good mood, convinced what she had seen the night before had all been just a dream... nothing more. She slipped on her shoes and made her way through the castle and along to the council room. However, as soon as Gwen opened the door she felt her blissful little world shatter.

It wasn't as though the two were doing anything obvious... but it was more subtle. It was in the eyes. Gwen quickly took her seat, hoping that no one had noticed her frozen face and the meeting continued. You could have asked her what was being said but the Queen would not have been able to tell you. All that was on her mind was the constant looks and glances Arthur and Merlin kept giving each other. Every time their eyes crossed paths both would blush ever so slightly and a small smile would ghost their lips before everything returned to normal... and all of this would happen in less than a second; barley noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for.

The meeting soon ended and everyone took their leave. However Gwen remained in her chair, lost in thought.

"Is everything alright my Lady?"

Lancelot's voice pulled the Queen from her daze.

"Yes" she shook her head a little, as though to clear her thoughts "Yes, everything is fine" she repeated and smiled lightly. The Knight glanced uncertainly at her before returning the smile, bowing to her and turned to leave. And Gwen could have sworn she saw a small blush flush the man's cheeks before he left. The Queen soon stood herself and made her way back towards the royal chambers. It took all her strength and willpower to stop herself from running down the corridors, shutting herself in her chambers and never coming out again. She was holding up just fine until she spotted Arthur and Merlin down the corridor from her. To the untrained eye it would have simply looked like a completely innocent, friendly exchange... but Gwen knew the unfortunate, painful truth; she saw every subtle touch and shy smile and small blush. She saw it all, and that was when she could no longer continue her calm, regal mask. Her body whipped around as the Queen picked her skirts slightly off the floor and fled. She ran as fast as wearing an expensive dress with heavy skirts could allow her. She stumbled slightly as she reached the door to her chambers and burst inside. Luckily no servants were there at the time, so Gwen slammed the door shut and pulled the bolt across. Her back hit against the door as she turned around. She slowly slid down it until she was sitting on the cold, harsh floor. Gwen let her head fall to her hands and only then did she notice that she had been crying... but noticing this didn't stop the tears. Instead she allowed the watered sadness to cascade down her cheeks in a salty, sour river. Gwen knew she would have to explain her actions to someone later but right there, in that moment, there was nothing she could do but cry.

She could have been overreacting.

It could have been a dream and she was just letting it get to her.

She could have been tired and thinking irrationally.

No, Gwen knew love when she saw it.

And she saw it as clear as day in Arthur and Merlin.


	9. Chapter 8

"Merlin?" Arthur hoarsely whispered into the seemingly empty room It was night yet again and Arthur had come to Merlin's chambers under the cover of darkness. Leaving his unsuspecting wife behind in their chambers, he had come to seek Merlin's warm arms and tender kisses. He stood in the open doorway... but Merlin was nowhere to be seen.

"Merlin?" Arthur tried again... still nothing. He was about to whisper out again... until he heard a small noise. It was so soft and so quiet that the untrained ear would have heard nothing. But Arthur had hunted since he was a young boy; he knew how to listen to the world. He allowed his eyes to scan over the large room. He saw vials, beakers, books... Arthur's eyes stop abruptly on the small, hunched over ball of clothing that was tucked away in the corner of the room. The bundle shook slightly and let out another muffled sound that Arthur's mind now registered as a sob.

_"Merlin"_

Quicker than he even thought was possible, Arthur shot over to Merlin who was huddled in the corner and pulled the sobbing body into his arms. Merlin instantly threw his arms about Arthur's waist and gripped him like it was the last thing he would do. The sobs continued to fall from the Sorcerer's mouth just as quietly as before. Arthur allowed his hands to rhythmically stroke through Merlin's silky black hair and his lips to utter sweet nothings into his ears.

Finally the sobbing subsided and Merlin lifted his head from its place on Arthur's chest. Stormy grey-blue eyes met with striking sky blue ones in the darkness of the night. A silence had fallen over the couple and neither wanted to be the one to break it. So they stayed, staring into each other's eyes. Arthur lifted one of his hands from Merlin's waist and used his thumb to gently brush away the remaining tears on the other's face. Merlin instinctively lent his face into Arthur's soft, strong hand.

"Arthur... I can't do this"

Arthur pulled back a little but kept his hand on Merlin's face. The shock was clear on his face.

"What do you mean?" Arthur hated himself for the fear he had let creep into his voice.

"I love you Arthur, honestly I do... but... I don't want to hide anymore. I know we have to but I hate seeing you and not being able to hold you, to kiss you. I hate not being able to show the world that I love you. And Gwen-"

Arthur started to shake his head but Merlin silenced him before he could speak.

"I know you said not to bring her up but... she's my _friend_ Arthur! I'm betraying her as much as you are. She trusted me with every secret she ever had"

Merlin let his head drop but Arthur lifted it up again with his forefinger and looked Merlin straight in the eyes.

"I love her Merlin, I love Gwen... but I'm _in _love with you. I don't know how or for how long but what I do know is that my heart is for you. When I met Gwen she was perfect. She was beautiful, talented, caring, loving, and she still is. But sometimes, when everyone around you believes you are in love with someone... you believe it too. And I did believe it... until that kiss. When you kissed me, Merlin, it was like the clouds in my mind were lifted. All the illusions of love and adoration cleared until I could only see one thing; you. _You _are the one I truly love... it's only you"

Merlin's heart melted. To hear those word spoken to him from Arthur. Everything seemed to dissolve around them. All the pain and worry and fear... it was gone.

Love; love was the one thing that shone through now.

* * *

2 months passed by... and everything was going bad to worse.

The radiant Queen wasn't so radiant anymore.

She was hardly seen by anyone; publicly or privately. She spent most of her days alone in her chambers.

"Her skin's as pale as my bed sheets and her eyes are more emotionless than this silver plate" the maids would gossip as one would return from seeing to their Lady. Gwen heard of the gossip but was beyond caring. Her head ached and she felt sudden on comings of sickness constantly.

The powerful King was almost constantly out of sight.

He spent far more time than he knew he should wandering his castle. But he couldn't help it. His mind was always restless. His days were filled with thoughts of Merlin's bright blue eyes and beaming smile and his nights filled with that same person's caressing arms and tasteful kisses. Arthur knew Merlin's days and nights were full of similar thoughts about him and couldn't help but smile at the thought of his Sorcerer's head being filled with nothing but him. But what Arthur didn't know was that his actions were being noticed.

The strong knights of Camelot and the round table were still as strong as ever.

But their minds no longer thought of swords and fighting and battle, they thought of their King, Queen and Sorcerer. They all knew about Arthur and Merlin's secret for it wasn't much of a secret to them anyway. All the knights had known Arthur and Merlin for many years now and had gotten to know their ways of keeping secrets. A few months back, when they had first figured it out, they had been very concerned for Arthur and Merlin. What if the kingdom found out? What if they came out right and told everyone? What if Arthur divorced Gwen?... What if Gwen found out? But now the King and his Sorcerer were the least of their worries. It was their Queen they feared for now. What if she really did find out? What if she already had?

Gwen was hiding.

Arthur was showing his weaker side.

Merlin was unstable.

The knights were fearful...

Camelot was weak.


	10. Chapter 9

This was the day Gwen had been dreading, her birthday. Even just a year ago she would have loved the attention, presents and the feast that was to be held in her honor... but this wasn't a year ago, this was now. The feast meant she had to come out of the solitary life she had lived in for the past few months. It also meant she had to face up to Arthur. It wasn't that she hated him... but that was the problem. No matter how much she wanted to, Gwen just couldn't hate Arthur.

So, after maid servants rushing about her all morning, Gwen sat at the head of the table in the throne room. Her dress was made of soft, flowing lilac and white silk. Her curly brunette hair was pinned up in a loose bun and encircled with a ring of small gold flowers. She looked like the beautiful Queen she was and the people saw her to be. Her eyes gleamed in the candle light and her smile spread happiness around the room. But that was just how she appeared to look to everyone. On the inside the desperation to run away from the attention gnawed away at her. Her smile was fake, her food had hardly been touched. She felt guilty that she couldn't appreciate all the work and thought that had gone into the festivities around her. But all she wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before, when everything was happy and nothing hurt... but that was one birthday wish she knew could never come true.

Arthur sat next to his wife but, in all honesty, he hardly even noticed her. All he could think about was Merlin, who just so happened to be right at the other end of the table. Sparks of guilt light in his heart; how could he want the love of his friend and not his own wife? But any time those sparks of guilt tried to grow into flames he was reminded that he had in truth been saved. He had been saved from the heart-break of realising Gwen wasn't the one. He had been saved from the possibility that he could have lost the love of Merlin's heart. He had been saved from the chance of losing a love that had come to be so precious to him. He had been saved by his Sorcerer. The sparks of guilt were stamped out. Arthur knew Gwen was a kind, gentle, loving and not to mention absolutely beautiful woman. She was perfect... but not perfect for him.

The feast rolled through like clock work and soon guests had started to get up, bid their farewells and thanks to their Queen and leave. Merlin saw the opportunity and took it. He stood with the group of men around him and made for the door. He turned around just before he was about to leave and caught Arthur's eye. Merlin knew Arthur had seen him because the King turned to Gwen and spoke. Soon he too was standing up and making for the door. Merlin scurried out and around the corner where no one would see him. In a matter of minutes Arthur turned the corner and had come face to face with Merlin. He leaned in to capture his lips but Merlin stepped back and shook his head.

"Not here! What if someone saw us?"

Arthur's eye gleamed with a mixture of mischief, love and pure desperation as he asked "Whose chambers are closer?"

"Well... yours"

Merlin didn't continue as Arthur took hold of his arm and began half leading, half dragging the Warlock towards the royal chambers.

* * *

The feast for the Queen's birthday was drawing to a close. The last few guests trickled out the room and Gwen kept her fake smile stuck on her face until the very last person was gone. When she finally heard the great door slam shut her face instantly fell to the monotone expression that reflected her emotions. Slowly she rose from her chair, flattened out her heavy skirts and left the room. She allowed the great wooden doors to slam shut behind her before making her way down the corridors and towards her chambers. The sky was inky black and the stars shone with an unusually bright light. The moon was suspended high in the sky and lit the corridors in an almost magical way. Blankly, Gwen walked through the castle. Her foot steps echoed slightly in the empty corridors. But when she turned the last corner and came face to face with the doors to her chambers she saw light flooding out from the gap under the doorway. Gwen frowned as her legs carried her closer to the door. Then she almost smiled at herself for realising how silly she was being. Of course there was light coming from her chambers, Arthur was in there. Even though she knew it could never be possible, part of her still hoped to enter to find Arthur smiling warmly at her, taking her into his arms and together they would dance to the sound of nature coming in through the open window. A small part in the back of her mind still held on to that small sliver of hope. Gently, Gwen put her hand to the door and pushed it open.

As her head lifted to see the sight before her, the shattered remains of her heart dissolved into dust...


	11. Chapter 10

There they were; Arthur pinned against the wall by Merlin, their mouths pressed together. Heavy breathing and low mumbles echoed around the room. But the kiss wasn't just wanting... it was craving, needing, caring... loving. And Gwen wanted to shout; she wanted to cry and scream and make herself known in the loudest way possible, but she was frozen. It was as though time had stopped her body but nothing else; the cruelty of fate forcing her to watch the display in front of her, desperately waiting for them to notice her presence so then she may be free to cry and scream as she pleased. But she couldn't. She could only stand in silence and wait for the other two to notice her. When they finally did it was with loud gasps and wide eyes. Merlin instantly leapt away from Arthur and tried to compose himself even though everyone in the room knew it was already far too late.

"Gwen..." Arthur stepped forward, reaching out his hand as though he was about to comfort her. And that was when Gwen could finally break free.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" Gwen screamed and Arthur stumbled back surprised at the power in his wife's voice. Gwen glared at them both, her anger rising every second.

"What are you doing?! Why? I trusted you; both of you! Arthur, am I really not enough? What have I done to push you away from me?! And Merlin, why did you try to be my friend? When evidently all you ever wanted was _him_! I loved you and cared for you and what do I get in return? This! What evil has possessed you to do this to me?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

The Queen's final sentence echoed in the suddenly silent room. Arthur remained still, staring at his wife with a mixture of fear, horror, sadness and for some reason a strange hint of relief. Merlin was almost cowering behind the blonde with his blue-grey eyes conveying all his emotion. Gwen was too distracted to notice that neither of the men showed the slightest hint of regret.

"Guinevere..." Arthur tried to start but couldn't think of what else to say. The Queen at least picked up on the use of her full name but that didn't change a single thing.

"Don't Arthur. Just don't"

Stillness fell over the room once again. Chocolate brown eyes met of eyes of clear skies, then eyes of stormy seas, then finally the sky and seas met each other.

"Leave me" Gwen suddenly whispered, just loud enough for the other two to hear. No one moved.

"LEAVE ME" Gwen let out the last ounce of energy she had in that final scream. She didn't recall how the King and Sorcerer hurried out, that the door slammed louder than it needed to behind them or how and when she stumbled over to the bed. But nevertheless she found herself curled up in the middle of the mattress with tears falling down her flushed cheeks in a river of betrayal and hurt. But the worst thing about it was... she knew, that no matter what, this would always have happened. Always.

Because Arthur was never meant for her... not really.

* * *

"Your highness?"

The sound of a soft voice and the door creaking open awoke the Queen from the fitful sleep she had fallen into.

"Gwen?"

Gwen looked up and saw standing in the doorway was Lancelot. She smiled warmingly at the knight, _finally_ someone she could trust. Without any invitation Lancelot shut the door behind him, crossed the room and sat himself down on the bed next to Gwen... and she didn't mind at all. She felt safe with him; all her troubles and ill-thoughts ran away when she was in his presence. They sat in silence for a while before Lancelot reached up a hand towards Gwen's face and gently brushed away the tear stains on her cheeks. She didn't flinch or try to move way; instead the Queen found herself leaning into the knight's soft touch.

"I heard shouting coming from down here earlier. I was just making sure you were okay" Lancelot finally said.

"I am now" Gwen replied, without even thinking. Despite this she smiled and the knight smiled back. The two sat in silence for a while more. The moon shone bright in the night sky, causing shadows to be thrown carelessly around the room. Gwen shivered, suddenly realising just how cold she felt. Lancelot instantly reached past her and grabbed one of the many blankets placed on the bed. He draped the soft material around the Queen's shoulders before leaning back and standing. He picked one of the candles beside Gwen's bed and, using the tools provided, lit it. The candle didn't give off much light but suddenly the room seemed ten times brighter. Lancelot's eyes glowed slightly with the mixture of moonlight and candlelight falling into them. Without another word the knight turned and walked back towards the door. He allowed once final gentle smile to grace his features before leaving he room and shutting the door quietly behind him.

Gwen didn't even notice he didn't bow.


	12. Chapter 11

Merlin was scared. No... he was down right terrified. He had never meant for this to happen; Gwen was never suppose to find out. But he knew it was all his fault. That spell he had placed upon Gwen's womb backfired in the worst way imaginable. His emotions raged like a hurricane around his heart. He hated himself for allowing things to go this far, he resented Arthur for being so careless and he despaired for the pain he must have caused Gwen. But at the same time he was jealous of Gwen; she was able to marry Arthur and love him openly. He didn't care that Gwen was hurt because Arthur never belonged to her... But in truth, Merlin didn't know anything. For the first time in a _long_ time the Sorcerer had absolutely no idea. Usually he could just fix problems with a whisper and a flash in his eyes. He did so for others on a regular basis. At most they would have to ride off to some distant land to find a precious herb or flower. But even with all the dangers he had faced in his life, nothing had ever scared him more than not knowing what to do; not knowing the solution to the problem he faced. Which was why, right now, he was more fearful than he had ever been before. Simply because he didn't know what to do.

Arthur hated himself. He hated that he had let things get so out of hand, he hated he had let his heart rule is mind... but most of all, he hated the fact that he felt happy. Before Gwen had discovered anything he had felt so suffocated. He wanted to show the world his love for his Sorcerer and not have to pretend. Arthur had to hide everything from everyone. But now his wife knew, now he didn't have to hide. Someone in this world other than Merlin and himself knew. And even if it was the _one _person they were trying so desperately to hide from... she _knew_. There was nothing that could be done now. Gwen knew and they had both hurt her but nothing anyone could do would make time reverse itself. Arthur knew that. Which was why he felt so happy. Because, even if it was just one person, that was one less person he had to hide from.

Gwen felt no emotion whatsoever. No hurt, sadness, fear, anger... nothing. She was totally blank. She knew what had happened. Merlin's spell had backfired on them all. Nothing had come out of that action from her 'friend' other than the truth. Which Gwen realized she was now very grateful for. And now she was void of all reactions. The only times she could even come close to any kind of feeling was when she saw Lancelot; the one person on this God-forsaken Earth she could actually trust. But even when she did see him she didn't feel anything such as sadness or pain. No, with Lancelot she felt something different entirely. Something... _good_.

* * *

"Are you sure?" Lancelot asked, concern laced in his voice.

"Yes" Gwen smiled, leaning in slightly closer to her knight "I'm sure".

The two of them were talking with one another in the royal chambers. Their voices rowed back and forth in the rhythm of conversation but their tones remained hushed. It had been exactly one mouth since Gwen had seen the King and Sorcerer in her chambers pressed against one another in a blanket of passion and love. For the first week she could hardly function; her emotions disabling her ability to even move. She probably would have remained that way, but then she was saved. Lancelot had started to visit her each night. Nothing much would happen, they would simply sit together enjoying each other's company before Gwen would fall asleep against the knights arm, Lancelot would put her into the fluffy mattress and drape the feathered quilts over her body before leaving. And slowly, Gwen was brought back from the edge of self destruction. She no longer cared for her 'husband' nor his 'friend'. The Queen would have put her plan into action weeks ago if it had not been for the one thing holding her back. But now she knew she had to let it all go... even Lancelot.

"I know you have to but... I will miss you"

Gwen's smile was sad as she looked at Lancelot. His words were calm and soft and, although she could see the hurt in his eyes, the knights words calmed her into certainty; she had to do this.

She had to leave Camelot.


	13. Chapter 12

The darkness of night had spread across the sky. Stars dotted themselves upon that darkness like white paint on a vast black canvas. No moon was hanging in the sky; hiding itself to cloud the actions of one woman. The woman who had lost everything and now had nothing but one option. Her departure from the one place she knew, had lived in all her life and had lost and gained everything in would cause the kingdom to either raise higher than ever and bring upon a new and beautiful age or it would be crushed into nothing but loss, fear and despair. Only time would tell which way everyone would fall.

* * *

The deep blue of Gwen's cloak flowed behind her as she crept through the lifeless castle. No torches were lit; not even a candle burned to blow away some of the darkness. But for once the Queen was grateful for the complete lack of light. Herself and Lancelot had planned everything to perfection. She knew her knight would be waiting for her down at the stables with her horse and enough food and drink for the next few days. Slowly Gwen swerved through the corridors before hurriedly edging her way around the outside of the courtyard- even though it was the dead of night she knew she still had to be careful to not be seen. The cool air surrounded her but it was not cruel and binding; it was not cold but rather that the air seemed to calm her nerves. The Earth was the calm before the Queen's storm. Finally she made it across the courtyard and began heading towards the stables. The stars in her line of vision blurred as unwanted tears began forming in her chocolate coloured eyes. Lifting her chin higher she continued. There was nothing to despair she told herself, that place would only hold painful memories for her if she stayed. Just as she thought her tears might leak through her determined mask, Gwen saw Lancelot standing and stroking her horse's side. Under the knights arms appeared to be a pack of some sort, probably her food and water. The man and horse were positioned beside the stables, facing out towards the open road out of the castle walls. As Gwen approached them she saw a smile on Lancelot's lips. It was a sad sort of smile and Gwen returned it. That silent exchange revealed all the things neither could ever say out loud; I'll miss you, I wish it didn't have to be this way, I hope this brings a better life for us both. Without a word the knight helped the Queen onto her glossy, brown mare. He handed her the pack of food and water. But just as Lancelot was about to pull his hand away Gwen gently took hold of it.

"Thank you" she whispered with a smile; a true, genuine smile. The knight nodded his head and smiled in reply. Slowly, the Queen bent down towards Lancelot until their faces were barely inches apart. Then with one final movement she connected their lips. The kiss was small and chaste but contained feelings that no word could ever fully convey.

"If this were a different world I hope that something better could have come from all this pain"

Lancelot nodded again, tears of understanding glistening in his bright eyes.

"Goodbye Guinevere"

Gwen tapped the sides of the horse with her heels and the horse responded with speed. Leaving nothing behind but a trail of dust and the echo of hooves on stone the Queen's cloak billowed in the wind behind her as she and her horse traveled away from the only place she had ever known. Never to return.

_"Goodbye Lancelot"_


	14. Epilogue

Two years, two whole years had passed since the Kingdom had lost their faithful Queen. No one knew the truth about that night. Of course there were many speculations and rumors, some more possible than others, but no one knew the truth... at least, not the whole truth.

The first few weeks had been impossible. The people were in a panicked frenzy wondering where their Queen had gone, was she coming back, had she been taken, had she been driven out? The King had instantly set up search patrols to find her but that was mainly for the people's sake. He knew why Gwen had taken off and he knew that no matter what happened now, she would never return. He mourned her loss of course, but he couldn't help feeling that a huge weight had been lifted from him. He loved Gwen and the loss of her presence greatly pained the King... but this could mean he was free, he would no longer have to hide his true self from his friends nor his people.

After several months the citizens of the mighty kingdom began easing themselves back into their daily lives. The Queen was never forgotten, but as time went on people found it easier to put her to the back of their minds and continue their lives as they did before. Everyone was still in mourning but to an outsiders eye the kingdom looked as strong as it had been before. Arthur stopped sending out search parties; he knew that where ever Gwen had gone, if she didn't want to be found then no one would find her. To everyone else's eyes the King had accepted that his wife was gone and was continuing to rule alone, his strength growing more each day. However, there were two people who knew different... who knew the truth. The King himself and his loyal Court Sorcerer. For the King was not alone, he had Merlin by his side. His strength was growing because he didn't have to sneak out of bed in the dead of night each time darkness fell. The two men still felt remorse stronger than anyone and they both knew that the pain would never truly fade. But now they were free; they weren't hurting anyone anymore. Because no matter how hard it was to know that Gwen's absence was their fault, the knowledge that they were causing her pain had been far greater.

Half a year after the loss of their Queen Camelot witnessed a substantial change in their King and his Sorcerer. Nothing was ever publicly announced, nothing was ever confirmed by anyone. But people began to see Arthur and Merlin together in a whole new different way. No one could really pinpoint how or when it had started but what was once a maidservant claiming that she had seen the two of them clasping hands to the others she worked with quickly grew to widespread Kingdom gossip and speculation. Not even the King's closest friends dared to ask what was going on but everyone had their own theory. Merlin would smirk as he heard yet another group of citizens discuss him and his King in hushed voices. For Arthur and Merlin had planned this to happened; they were preparing the people for the news they had wanted to share with them for far too long.

Several days after the one year anniversary of Gwen's leaving Arthur asked Merlin a question. A very important question that he had wanted to ask him for longer than he dared to think. And, to his delight, under the stars and surrounded by candles Merlin's answer to that question was 'yes'. The very next day the council were gathered in the throne room under an emergency meeting set by Arthur. They paced and muttered to each other wondering what this meeting was to be about when Arthur himself entered the room quickly followed by Merlin. The two made their way up to the front and, much to the confusion of everyone but the King, when he addressed the council Merlin did not step aside but instead remained firmly by Arthur's side. And then and there it was announced that Arthur was engaged to marry Merlin. The council instantly erupted into shouting. Whether the word being said were positive or negative no one could really say. But Arthur took hold of Merlin's hand and together they walked out of the throne room leaving a large collection of confused and shocked people behind them.

The wedding day had been a day to remember. The news of their engagement had spread across the kingdom within days and everyone had flocked to the castle to witness the wedding that would bring upon a new age. A new age of freedom, love and magic.

And several months later, Arthur and Merlin sat side-by-side upon the thrones that they had been destined to sit on since the dawn of time. Camelot was thriving and climbing higher than it had ever gone before. The King's ruled together over the mighty kingdom Camelot was always meant to be. Everything had fallen perfectly into place and the world around them let out a sigh at it admired the work it had been building for centuries.

No one ever forgot Guinevere, least of all Arthur. But he was at peace. He realized that himself and Gwen were never met to be; they loved but they were not in love... not with each other, not really. But in many ways he was glad of all the trials his heart had been through. For now he knew the truth...

The truth behind true love.


End file.
